Shills - people who disguise themselves as friends, who are sent by another person to seek information. This is what my life has been, and here are the results of that harassment.
I arrived in NY in 1987, but I believe that the game started long before that. The first time I heard of Plants, which is really what a Shill is, was in 2002. Someone asked me what did I know about Plants, and taught me about the Grand Jury? I was completely confused about this individuals concern. I would get upset, and shut down because she would be so upset about what I thought was a bizarre concept. Yet, I was in the midst of people who were just that--Shills.
I don't know where this woman is to apologize, but now I understand what she was trying to tell me. First, I am a victim of Human Trafficking. When I arrived in New York, it was difficult. I used the piece of paper with a name on it to begin my journey. I look back now, and wonder if that was my biggest mistake?
Growing up in Denver was painful, my parents had a tumultuous marriage and it hurt. I was always the focus of arguments about how to raise me. This was the beginning of my confusion about me; why are they arguing about me? Eventually, the marriage ended and some of the most important relationships in my life ended with it. I was 13 years old. I could never pick between my parents; meaning who I loved the most because I had a weird relationship with them both.
I can say now, that I felt abandoned by both of them at different times in my life, but something happened when they're union ended. I was placed into a game. Why, is the question? I remember being treated like there was something wrong with me as early as the third grade. I remember feeling self-conscious about stupid things; things that didn't really matter. I'd listen to the bickers about my behavior from my father, and it would hurt, but I resolved at a very young age that he just didn't understand me. My mom was equally difficult at times, but she understood me.
She'd pick up my pieces of paper I'd leave around the house with scribbles of poetry on them; she'd give me free reign of the stereo on Saturdays to play music all day; she'd listen to my made up stories about this and that; she understood if I didn't want to talk at all, and she'd laugh at my pranks that I'd pull in school and get into trouble about. I was constantly talking and story telling and imagining, and my dad couldn't stand it. He'd swear something was wrong with me.
He'd say, "you don't know what reality is." I'd shrug it off, knowing that I did, so there wasn't any need to argue about it. My feelings would even be hurt sometimes, but I'd suck it up. This comes to mind because of the idea that these shills that have been around for as long as I can remember, constantly spoke contrary to who I wanted to be. I always saw my life as being creative, and I was reading way above my grade level even in grade school; still, there was this group conscious among certain family members that constantly enforced that I was a nobody.
As I pin point these Shills throughout my life, I see that they were there to hurt my psyche--to reinforce what I was told about myself growing up. I have always been a believer of self-improvement and growth, especially because of my background. Yet, for the past ten years there has been a high gear psychological assault on my person. The people who have come into my life, have come for specific reasons--to report about me to another person.
The first Shill I can remember was a guy from New Orleans when I was about to graduate from High School, I even remember his name. What I didn't know, was that this nonsense would continue to this very moment. I remember when I was 16, my mom was going to this small church in our neighborhood with a family friend; and I remember the scripture that completely changed my perspective about life. As I look back at all of these Shills who were planted in my life to distract me, all I can do is be thankful. I realize that my own family skillfully arranged this and rearranged that to ruin my life.
I look at my relationships, and I know what type of person I am; I also know that they can't pick my companionship because I am so different from them. I don't play the games that they play; I'm genuine and sincere, but there's always been this kind of, "do Alicia harm," theme with them. I grew up in a neighborhood where I was surrounded by a variety of people, so I'm able to manage and get along with others; yet, my relationships have all been a hoax.
With the recent realization that writers, rappers and people who have influence prying in my life by way of third parties has been completely disrespectful, and I know the connection with each one because I now understand what the woman was saying. Shills. Yes, there have been a number of deaths because these people did not/do not want me to ever find out, but I know. I know that this has to be addressed because I was and would be their next victim. They have poisoned me in the past, and I have the medical proof to prove it. I was also met by a woman years ago who lived in Hell's Kitchen who was trying to explain that concept to me, again--I could not conceive of the idea that someone would actually set out to poison another human being for absolutely no reason.
These individuals play a psychological games, they use people to seek out information to use against the victims. Many of these people are associated with the Military, and they connect through our Veterans Hospitals. They are participating in chemical warfare to wipe out entire families, and many of these men are associated with churches. In my family alone, there have been unreasonable illnesses that affect the heart, the endocrine system, cervical, lung, breast and stomach cancers, kidney and liver infections and cancer, and we are generally exceptionally healthy people.
I have noted my work in the media by way of ad campaigns, a famous writer has written about some of my hurt and even a movie that holds the same name of the book, and is named after the family members who are not fans of my mother.
Delores believes that my mother did something to her in regard to a secret, and my dad's wife who is just my dad's wife for many years. Recently, my dad announced to me that my Uncle Nat didn't file the marriage license for their union; I don't understand that. I have also discovered that my mother was railroaded to live in a totally different jurisdiction that almost puts her under the radar in other states; meaning, she is a prime candidate for identity theft in another state by using her once married name that she had with my father. Her Social Security may be being used; her identity may be being doubled, and me as a result has been attacked and kicked out of my life to prevent this secret from being revealed.
Back to these Novels being written, I have been surrounded by the influence of Chicago and I only know a few people there--Northwestern University to be exact, and I know of two people who went there. Yet, again; there is this new novel playing another resemblance game to my life. It's as if a group of people are orchestrating madness around me to publish; a dirty joke being played on my life. What's sad is that eventually, these same people obtain an illness.
For instance, Barbara Moore who was a neighbor when I was in college; and thereafter, became ill. I am not attempting to defame or disrespect her in any way, but my father reported to me that she was family and she has roots in Louisiana and she's a McGee. Was this a coincidence, or is this a part of the church game? She has appeared on the Oprah show, and she's from Chicago. Again, is this a coincidence? She graduated from Northwestern and during the completion of my first novel, Sapphire was picked up at Random House.
One of my first jobs was at Shearson Lehman, where I met a woman who befriended me and her brother worked in the Arts. Sapphire and him are very close friends, and this brother and sister have the same last name as my father's wife. Since I know that my grandfather knew everyone in the church, in particular, Dr. Gardner Taylor, the famous orator and I wonder if my grandfather has laid a wrath on me by way of the Progressives. Also, let me add before I go further; it is written in the scriptures that the biggest trick of the devil is to convince us that he doesn't exist--this is the law that these people function in. Deception.
I stand as a witness to the deaths that have taken place. God gives life, and He chooses what gifts each and everyone of us possess. Yes, it is true that there has been an attack on my life every since I was a child. I am considered high-spirited, but it's actually a gift. My family recognized this gift; tried to suppress this gift, and I have this gift for a reason. Not only am I standing as a witness, I am standing against the misogynistic belief that I am only valuable if I am being used for material or sexual satisfaction. I am standing against the misogynistic belief that I have to be this way or that way in order to receive the love of God.
They are using old hate methods against the beige people to commit genocide. Right now, the women in my family are being murdered without being given a moments notice by the men in our family for selfish gains--our family farm. My grandfather bought that farm to used by his family, and he was not a slave owner. I am a witness to the Browns who have come into my life, the Shaws who have repeatedly hurt my life and those who are associated with the Trinidadian community who believe a falsity that isn't even confirmed. We have been attacked by way of the Jones of Kansas City, and we have not done anything to any of these people. We have married, befriended and supported many of these individuals during our lifetime, meanwhile they are poisoning us at unawares.
I am of African, Swedish, Jewish, Russian, Native American and Indian (as in East Indian) decent and probably much more than that. I have been attacked by Guyanese, Southern African Americans, Northern African Americans and maybe even Russian and East Indian; however, it is time for it to stop. My grandfather bought that land, and I have a right to it and nobody else who is not a direct decedent from him. The Shaws didn't buy that land and the Browns didn't buy that land; my grandfather Pate Quick bought that land, and if I want to write about the beauty of the people that I come from it is my right. I have never even heard even of the Evans family acting disrespectful about a piece of land.
I am not the sacrifice, and I will not tolerate Shills or any other type of agressive and hateful behavior. This Bond book will be the last time that my life is disrespected for another person's gain. When they trafficked me out of Denver, they made sure that the first familiar face that I saw was Lilith. Lilith, if you don't understand symbolism, was considered Adam's first wife and she was considered to be rebellious and unwilling to submit to Adam and that is why we have Eve.
I was to be sacrificed as a punishment to my mother. Delores orchestrated much of the hurtful incidents in my life, and it's sickening to realize this at 47 when time is so precious. I am aware that I am somewhat rodioactive, as that is the means by which they have been poisoning us. Radium can trigger thyroid issues and illnesses such as endometriosis, throat cancer and many other illnesses, like bronchial illnesses that affect ones breathing.
My family cannot attack me anymore, I know what they do and I'm sorry to report that I'm not a Lilith. I wasn't given the opportunity to meet my own mate because of the constant meddling in my affairs. This latest endeavor in regard to the violation of my work, as always a similar theme SHADES OF RED by me, and RUBY'S by her; is a blatant description of the disrespectful assaults that I have endured over the years.
The identity theft against my mother and me will cease now because I am reporting it. I refuse to be abused by a misogynistic group of men who continually degrade women who have done nothing to you. My mother didn't divorce my father, and she fully supported him through his education by way of almost three degrees. When they divorced, she didn't have her education because she supported him, and he was fully equipped to be anyone that he chose. My father is smart and capable, and I am a witness to the fact that my mother didn't do anything to him. She didn't harass him about child support, and he did pay when he was able to. No one has said anything negative about him, and I refuse to be stalked and harassed for the rest of my life.
There will be no more killing for selfish gains in my name because I will do whatever I can for it to cease. My stories will not be printed by anyone else because I am willing to take the legal route to do what I can to resolve all of these matters of identity theft of me and my mother. My aunt's husband who is conveniently from Louisiana will be exposed for any part that he plays, as will my great uncles and aunts on my mother's side. I am not the whipping girl, and this network is full of hate and disregard for the lives of others. I'm sorry if I do not or want to play this sadistic and self-serving game, but my gift will not allow it. Gain insight and imagination and write your own books. Buy you own stuff, whatever that may be, and stop killing innocent people for self-righteous gains. This is a form of terrorism and many of the acts that have taken place are crimes against humanity.
Before I was given a name, God gave me life, and I stand on that.
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