Today is one of those days, where I sat still in the wee hours of the morning, the way I love to do, and asked specific questions in regard to my life journey. I always read about how writers of self-help books come to the awareness of personal growth and I always wondered, what lesson will I learn? How do you get to the place of a personal growth, a question and then get the answer and the courage to change it. My morning awareness led me to the idea of connecting, and how valuable it is to connect. I asked myself specific and honest questions about this thing called connecting, and here's where the understanding of what changes needed to be made. I hope that a young person finds these words, and is encouraged to know that they are not alone, because I believed that I was.
As I have reflected on this journey, I have a silent love for many of my friends that I have met on the path. Many times, the interactions move in and out like a thread through a fabric, we don't see each other for many months, years or maybe days, but when we do, there is the beauty of just picking up where you left off the last time. But what about relationships and forming bonds that last a duration? Whether it be 1 month or 7 years doesn't really matter. When I look at this, and I search for the root of why and how, I've come to the realization that I wasn't taught how. I see it's effects during a time in my life where I honestly didn't notice it. Forming relationships and bonds, relating to another over a period of time gives both parties confidence in self. Being around a relationship and being in relationship are different.
I found myself sorrowful over the truth. We are taught some behaviors that need to be reconditioned, looked at and changed. When looking at self, it's hard not to look at our familial ties and our belief systems. I thought about things in my childhood that I had forgotten, they just flooded over me and made way for aha moments of self awareness. I never learned to relate, make it a point to connect, keep in touch; and, it was never personal on my side, I simply did not know. During times when it is so necessary for someone to really know who you are, what you really stand for and what you are really about. Those are some of the benefits of connecting. When life throws curves and painful blows, the need for someone to say, 'hey, I know who she is,' becomes priceless in a time when challenges are on the horizon.
Staying positive on the path sometimes, just isn't enough, knowing how to go to work, finish school, write a book or two doesn't open the doors for the connecting to others. It's like people knowing of you, but not knowing you. Through this busy life journey, this has been a difficult one to see. For me, some things relate to childhood, and I might have been that little girl in the midst of busy working parents just staying out of their way. How it relates to my journey and the belief, stay out of other people's way. But this isn't the answer, the idea is to connect, build bonds, develop relationships and grow.
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