My time at Columbia was interesting, many times I was challenged by administration and I often felt like myself and the other grant recipients were kind of being used as guinea pigs. Somehow, I learned that there were bets about who would graduate and who wouldn't. I admit, it sometimes made me feel inferior in the sense that I was a non-traditional student and while I stayed fairly close to my immediate classmates, there were times I'd stay to myself.
My constant buddy in college was F. Murphy and when she sat out for a year it was lonely. I also lived off campus, and it made me feel not so college age even though I was close in age to the kids fresh out of their parents homes. I'd had a few adult experiences and that made me shy, and the fact that I'd been sexually assaulted before leaving Denver. I wasn't as carefree in the sense that I was also in my own dilemma and still figuring out my childhood. I know it's kind of silly, but I was in a sense still spinning from my childhood and the indoctrination of what a female was.
I spent a lot of time isolating, at times. Once, I attempted to speak to another student about how I was feeling in an attempt to open up, and it resulted in the Dean calling me into the office and offering me rehab, which wasn't what I needed. Now looking back, I realized that my feminine health had been violated and I was having hormonal issues because my reproductive organs had been tampered with long before I was poisoned.
One can imagine how I feel not having those I longed to reconnect with being gone. Doris Jean Austin was the instructor that I first shared MAMA WAS DOWN WITH THE MOVEMENT and did she make me work. We dissected the prologue and she'd push me to do rewrites and more rewrites, so the summer she passed sent chills through me. She'd share with me and S. Blank about her experiences as a flight attendant, and other personal stories that would leave me mortified.
I can't believe that Leslie Woodard isn't here, either and I wonder if someone hurt them the same way I was hurt. I was poisoned on campus when I was 27, and if it wasn't for persistence and the fact that I met the right doctor, I wouldn't have been around to graduate. I never overdid anything, but I'd continually meet individuals who would reinforce recovery and me being me enjoyed learning about being a better human being.
Because of my experiences in school, I didn't look back because I just figured get over it and be glad you made it. However, I lost contact with those I'd helped and I believe the whisperer visited me on campus before I was forced out of my life. I built solid relationships, or so I thought. I think about Obsidian aka Valerie, and I wonder if she finished at Yale.
I was always confused on campus because I'd run into the most bizarre situations. I remember working in Hogan Hall and I remember the dynamics of everyone I worked with. I'm ashamed to say, but I was even offered crack/cocaine on campus from another student. As one of a few African-American students it's a habit to attempt to attach to one another, so hanging out one day she offered to smoke a marijuana cigarette, and unbeknownst to me it was laced with crack/cocaine. It was just a confusing mess.
I remember how I loved her strength and her smarts were phenomenal, so I asked someone what I could do to refocus her attention and that backfired. This was during the time my study partner was away. It was a lot lonely. Some of the others in our group had families at home, like Wayne Washington and I think about Bob Woodard and Bernie all the time.
I was never one to force a friendship, but if they run across this posts I'd love to reconnect. I'd like to apologize to Dean Levy and tell him how angry of a young woman I was, and I didn't mean to write the President of the University when I was accused of a wrongdoing. I now know that I am a victim of human trafficking or something like the hunger games, and the cogs in my wheels never stopped coming.
Felicia Stanton resurfaced, but I think about F.Murphy and pray that she's not a part of these individuals. I even ran into Cheryl McIntyre who was one of our Deans, and I was so happy to see her; however, I'm also annoyed at the fabrications I'm dealing with. When I was living on campus, I invited a singer to my dorm room who proceded to sing at the top of her lungs. Her name was "Blue" and I know for a fact that she's a part of these people.
I'm having computer issues and there's some type of madness on my laptop where someone is calling themselves a "Shadow." This nonsense has happened to me before I ever even smoked a cigarette. I've never been on drugs and I've never been a daily drinker. I don't understand it, but I do know that I've been poisoned and that my reproductive system has been tampered with.
I understand how hormones can cause issues, and hopefully all of the madness will eventually make sense.
Welcome to my blog spot. I aim to share, inspire, motivate and connect with others to witness the human spirit in motion.